Tiger Would, If He Could

Each year after The Myrtle Experience, the BGA has a certificate that is awarded to the player that has the lowest stroke/hole ratio. It is called "The Tiger Would If He Could Award." Obviously it kiddingly m0cks our golfing abilities because even the best among us is pretty doggone bad. This posting is not in that vane. Sadly I don't find much to be humorous about today. First of all, no matter how we feel personally about Tiger, he is not immune to having jokes made about him. In fact, some of them will soon be posted on the BGA website. I am, however, not posting all of them because, in my opinion, Elin and the cubs should not be subjected to ridicule.

Would Tiger take back all of the affairs (and I don't feel that the word "alleged" is necessary here) if he could? I would like to think that he would. However, on the radio this morning I heard an advertising executive saying that Tiger's endorsements would be solid with his major companies because the public (that's us, folks!) will come out in larger numbers than ever to see Tiger now that his "indiscretions" have created such "buzz." Does this make any sense to you? I'm ashamed for us that notoriety and celebrityhood hold such sway with us.

Tiger appears to be shameful of his actions being made public and in that shame I think we might find hope. Our society seems to have made shame an unnecessary emotion. You should not judge me, I am free to do as I wish. Therein, as is oft said, lies the rub.

Sadly this attitude carries over to what we expect from our political class. Our elected betters seem to try to outdo themselves in poor behavior. They are expected to be crooks and we poor fools who vote them in don't condemn them but instead we point out how much worse the other side was. We have become relativistic in our approach to behavior and in so doing we have lost our way. Bad is bad, not less bad or more bad, just bad!

Here in Baltimore our Mayor Sheila Dixon has been convicted of illegally using gift cards for herself that were intended for needy children. What has the reaction been? Sheila says no problem, she is going to continue doing the people's business just like before. Her supporters are encouraging people to come out this weekend and "show our support for our mayor." There is no apology, there is no thought of stepping down; there is no shame. Her actions now are aimed towards parsing the law to point out the technicalities of whether she used the cards in an official or unofficial capacity. One would allow her to remain in office, one would require her to step down. What's the difference? Bad is bad. If she "unofficially" used the cards for personal benefit am I to believe that her behavior is less shameful?

Back to Tiger Woods. I heard that Jaspar Parnivik is now sorry that he ever introduced Elin to Tiger. How he feels is up to him and I can see how he would be disappointed in Tiger's behavior but it is not his responsibility to screen Elin's choices. At some point in our lives we have to become responsible for our own decisions and choices.

Tiger has quite a job ahead of him rebuilding that trust he has lost with his wife. By being ashamed of his behavior I think it is an important first step to being forgiven and thereby attain redemption and acceptance. Shame does not have to be a permanent condition, but it does seem to be a vital stage if there is to be any real healing.

Look, Tiger is entitled to live his life as he wishes but he does not live in a vacuum and along with his actions there will be reactions. Unlike our elected betters, Tiger appears to be acknowledging that he behaved badly and has not tried to point out how much worse other athletes have behaved. In this I see hope.

Will I continue to watch Tiger on the golf course? Sure. He plays the game in a way that I can't even begin to. Will I look towards Tiger as a role model? No. Being a role model is not a choice, it is an honor and Tiger's behavior has not earned him that reward. Can he become a role model? Of course, but that shouldn't be his goal. His goal should be to heal his family. His cubs are still young enough to love him unconditionally. Healing his relationship with his wife (and don't forget his mother!) will be much harder. I wish him the best of luck in doing this and if he acts from his heart and not from some PR department directives, I think Tiger will give all of us a chance to forgive him. And that would make all of us just a little more human and humane.

As for all of our elected betters, fat chance they will ever change. Thank God for golf and the chance to make all of that political class irrelevant for a few hours.